A RTT-online level 2 course with Merete Holm Brantbjerg and Kolbjørn Vårdal

Shame

Relational Trauma therapy has specialised in including and normalising hypo-states and developing practical methods for working with these. As part of this process we discovered the importance of including and differentiating shame. We see working with shame as an essential part of working with trauma and dissociation. 

Working with shame and working with disgust are often interwoven and they both hold aspects of working with hypo-states. Finding a way to own our shame and finding ways out of shame is supported by awakening hypo-responsive parts of us

The course will focus on

practical methodology and theoretical understanding of different kinds of shame

Psychomotor and neurocentric exercises will be used to build capacity to feel, own and regulate shame – and through that accessing inner value and dignity

The principle of dosing will be included so the awakening of shame happens in a dosage that can be integrated. Awareness of hypo-states – both hypo-response and hypo-arousal is part of this process

Traumasensitive group process (subgrouping) will be used to work with and hopefully open up isolation patterns


Working with shame connects to both authority and attachment 

Owning regret can support a sense of inner authority and pride – and working with introjective shame is part of deeply embedded attachment patterns and can give access to a sense of inner value and dignity

SHAME is a more complex state compared to disgust. Shame holds both bodily, emotional, cognitive and cultural aspects

Working with shame involves working with how to establish a kind dialogue with oneself – an inner dialogue, that can support us in accessing and relating to our inner value and dignity with kindness – and also kindly relating to what happens to us when we loose this access

 

Different kinds of shame have been named in a variation of ways. As we see it the most important differentiation is between shame as a survival-driven adaptation to outer contexts on one side – and on the other side shame as a natural regulatory mechanism socially

3 aspects of shame

  • “Introjective shame” - White shame is the name we use for the survival-driven adaptation – given that this mechanism helps us survive in toxic environments by introjecting, swallowing something that we cannot react to outwardly. We take it on ourselves – “I am wrong” – instead of “Something out there is wrong”. Another name for this mechanism is “White shame” – deadening parts of ourselves to adapt. Introjective shame is closely connected to cultural norms in families and in societies. It is contextual – and it is connected to how groups relate to differences.

  • Red shame - The natural regulatory mechanism of shame is not about “I am wrong” – it is about “I did something or didn’t do something and I regret it”. This is a reaction to having been part of or having witnessed interactions that feel out of balance – interactions that violates our bodily sense of ethics. Something happened that just feels “wrong” – and I was part of it. This leaves us with regret – I wish it hadn’t happened – I wish I had done or said something different. This kind of shame is also called “red shame”. Regret is an important regulatory mechanism in contact. Without regret we can be shameless – and not be aware of consequences of our own behavior. The opposite of regret is being proud of something you did or didn’t do.

  • A third aspect of shame can be described as an innate sensitivity in contact, that shows when we are blushing, we are looking down to regulate intensity in contact. This shyness is an innate part of how we regulate contact and it is a gate-keeper, being very sensitive to our boundaries.

This online-course offers

7 x 3 hours live sessions that each time will include

  • 5 basic elements

    Presentation of one out of 5 basic elements in working with disgust, inner boundaries and inner authority

  • Practical training

    Practical training in body-awareness and specific muscle-and joint-activations

  • Time for sharing

    Time for sharing in smaller groups

  • Exchange-time

    Exchange-time in the whole group with questions and answers – and sharing in subgroups. The exchange time holds a live group-process, where the group becomes a holding environment for experiences that often have been hidden in withdrawal and isolation

  • Integration-time

    Session 4 and 7 focus on integration in the learning process

  • Recordings

    Recordings of each of the 7 sessions will be made available

  • Course curriculum

    Access to an updated curriculum on our online-platform that follows the online course. Here will handouts, articles, links for recommended external sources and the video

Pricing options

There exist different options for purchasing this course

What to expect in this workshop

5 basic elements in working with shame will be presented – 1 element will be the focus in each out of 5 of the sessions – and 2 sessions will focus on integration:

  • 1 - February 26

    Introduction to shame as a homeostatic feeling. Focus on regret and a kind inner dialogue

  • 2 - March 12

    The neurobiology of shame. What parts of the nervous system are involved in shame and what consequences comes with that in relating to shame?

  • 3 - March 26

    Introjective shame and disgust – how can we understand and work with the patterns of “I am wrong” –– and how do we support ourselves and others in accessing inner value and dignity. Opening up patterns of introjective shame involves awakening disgust in reaction to what was in the first place swallowed or introjected.

  • 4 - April 9

    Integration-time – time for personal and professional integration

  • 5 - April 23

    Shame and dissociation Shame leads to an avoidance, a pattern of hiding away, and can be so intense that it leads to dissociation. How can we support ourselves and others in hanging out on the edge of dissociation and gently find ways back into acknowledging shame and through that get into presence?

  • 6 - May 14

    Shame and culture Introjective shame is closely connected to cultural norms in families and in societies. It is contextual – and it is connected to how groups relate to differences. Understanding cultural background and humiliation is a necessary component to understand what awakens shame for different people. Culturally imposed shame is often connected to dynamics around moral disgust.

  • 7 - May 28

    Integration-time –– time for personal and professional integration

Who is this course for?

Requirements and recommendations: This is a step 2 course in RTT online international courses

  • Participants

    This course is for practitioners, consultants, psychotherapists or other professionals working with other people therapeutically or in teaching – who wants to add and integrate a focus on shame and inner boundaries in their practice

  • Previous experience with teaching that includes and awakens hypo-response is requested

    This request can be fulfilled by having participated in the online course “Including and awakening hypo-response” or having followed the special edition of “Including and awakening hypo-response” been bought together with the SHAME course - or having participated in training in Relational Trauma Therapy with Merete Holm Brantbjerg or Kolbjørn Vårdal

  • Our special edition courses

    differ from the normal courses in the following ways: In a special edition course you get access to the 7 presentations + the accompanying material such as articles, videos etc. You don’t get access to the exchange time in the group and you don’t become part of breakoutgroups. This means that you don’t become part of the holding environment in the group, that is being built in the live sessions

  • Recommendation LEVEL 1, special edition

    You can access 2 special edition courses: “Including and awakening hypo-response” (IAH), LEVEL 1 course. This is required before participating in the Shame-course, if you haven’t participated in the IAH course alread

  • Recommendation LEVEL 2, special edition

    "Hyper and hypo interwoven" (HHI), LEVEL 2 course. This special edition course is not mandatory – but we highly recommend it. When doing the HHI course, we saw how addressing both hyper and hypo-response supports opening up to a natural outgoing energy. We therefore see the relevance of going through the HHI course prior to working directly with shame.

  • Clarifying QUESTIONS

    If you are uncertain if you fulfill the criteria for signing up for the Shame course, please contact one of us on [email protected]

  • Purchase of our special editions

    If you want to purchase the special edition of “Including and awakening hypo-response” and/or "Hyper and hypo interwoven", please find them on the website https://www.relationaltraumatherapy.online

  • Organizer has the right to take action to secure that participants fulfill the criteria

Course leaders

and Course Manager

CEO and Senior trainer Merete Holm Brantbjerg

Merete Holm Brantbjerg, body-psychotherapist, member of the Danish Psychotherapist Organisation and of EABP, founder of Relational Trauma Therapy – international trainer – specialised in working with low dosed activation of muscles and connective tissue as an aspect of trauma-therapeutic methodology. Merete is situated in Copenhagen, Denmark.

Trainer Kolbjørn Vårdal

Kolbjørn Vårdal, body-psychotherapist, Masters degree in trauma work, member of EABP, co-founder of Relational Trauma therapy, international trainer, specialised in including neurologically informed training as a trauma-therapeutic methodology. Kolbjørn is situated in Oslo, Norway, - where he lives with his family

Course Manager Ayuna Pedersen

Ayuna Pedersen - bodyoriented psychotherapist, Relational Trauma Therapist, DBR, SEP - specialised in working with trauma with children in all ages. Member of the Danish Psychotherapist Organisation. The role of the course manager is to support the group technically, be part of the containment during sessions, be in charge of the course-platform. Ayuna is situated in Copenhagen, Denmark, - where she lives with her family

Practical information

  • Dates

    7 live online-sessions of 3 hrs on Wednesdays: February 26, March 12, March 26, April 9, April 23, May 14, May 28

  • Times:

    4-7 pm UTC (Coordinated Universal time, Greenwich mean time) 5-8 pm CET UTC + 1 6-9 pm EET (Eastern European time) UTC + 2 11 am – 2 pm EST (Eastern North America) UTC – 5 8-11 am PST (Pacific Standard Time) UTC –8 11.30pm -2.30 am ACST (Australian Central Standard Time) UTC + 9.30

  • Please note

    If you are in a different time-zone than the above mentioned – please look up what time will be yours. Please be aware that Daylight savings time shifts in CET to CEST on March 30 – and in the US on March 9 – so on March 12 and 26 the time-difference can differ with one hour compared to the normal difference. Please check your local shift.

  • Link for a time converter

    https://www.worldtimebuddy.com/

  • Teaching hours

    are on 5-8 pm CET/CEST all 7 times.

  • Live-sessions and Zoom link

    We use Zoom, a cloud-based video communications app for our Live virtual sessions. The Zoom-link will be made available in the curriculum under each session-section plus send qua email prior to each session

  • Material and online course platform

    Workshop curriculum and workshop-material will for the participating students be available on our learning platform https://www.relationaltraumatherapy.online. This include the recordings of each of the 7 sessions that will be accessible until March 1st 2026

  • Fee

    Early bird registration – with sign up and payment prior to February 13th 2025: 700 US$. Later sign up and payment: 740US$

  • Scholarship-price

    Scholarship-price 620 US$ available with written request. Send an email to [email protected]. Criteria for the reduced price can be being a student, retired or other reasons for having reduced income. A maximum of 10 participants will get acces to the scholarship price. - So don’t wait, if you want to send us a request.

EARLY BIRD for 'Shame – relating to inner value and cultural context'

Reduced price ends at midnight February 12TH 2025

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